Rifka's Journal: Tu ne sais rien

Tu ne sais rien (you know nothing)

It used to bother me a lot..

People tell me that I’ve changed, and they say it like issa bad thing. What really bothers me is they never ask why. They just judge me, as if they know everything about me, but ofc they don’t.

They see how I am now, but they don’t see what I’ve been through. They don’t know about the hard times, the decisions I had to make, or the ways I’ve had to grow. They see the change, but they don’t see the reasons behind it.

Yes, I’ve changed. But isn’t that what life is about? Growing, evolving, becoming a better version of yourself? It hurts that they can’t see that. They just want me to stay the same, like that’s normal.

I know there are people who might not understand, who might judge me or think I’ve changed in a negative way. But the truth is, this change feels like a positive one. I’m learning to be true to myself, to embrace who I am without feeling guilty or ashamed. It’s taken me a long time to get here, and I’m not going to let anyone take that away from me.

There’s this French quote that I keep thinking about:

"On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."

It means, “We see well only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes.” They’re judging me based on what they see on the outside, but they’re missing what really matters.

(Left to right) Me, My third sis Raisya, My Dad, My Mom and my 2nd sis Rifda

I wish they would just ask me. I wish they would take a moment to really understand me, to know that my changes aren’t random phenomenal thing.. They’re a part of my story, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come, even if it doesn’t fit into their idea of who I should be.

In the end, maybe it’s okay that they don’t get it. What matters is that I know why I’ve changed, and that I’m growing in the ways that are right for me. If they can’t see that, it’s their loss, not mine. I’m going to keep moving forward, focusing on the people who see me for who I really am.

Because at the end of the day, I’m the one living my life, and I’m the one who has to be happy with it. Shutout to my family and friend that see me for who I am.